Monthly Archives: May 2013

Random Moronic Moments…

      We all have them. It seems I have had many in the past few months. Today I had one that made me feel like my roots should be blonde…hey at least every blonde I know USES that excuse. 

     A week or so ago, there was a nice wine dinner/tasting, We have several a year at my job, where wine vendors pair their wares with divine dishes. The membership of the club partakes, and then they have the option of filling out orders with the said vendor and picking up their orders a week later at a local business who also works with the vendor. I had gotten to taste a wonderful white wine, and the vendor gave me a price list. They were special prices…the price per bottle that night, the retail price per bottle and then …the price per case. On the list the case price was printed as 14.99. I thought that was too cheap to be the price of a twelve bottle case of wine…especially one that would be represented at a dinner…I mean this is not OAK TRAIL or whatever that OAK brand is that is at Rite AID. I call the vendor and ask her, I originally was only going to get a bottle or two. I ask “is this price for the case…the actual price for the case? “YES, uh huh” she exclaimed. “WELL AWESOME”, I say and order a case. The payment and processing would be at my pick up, and not over the phone….unfortunate for me I would find out later.

   Today I went to the representing grocery store….The Piggly Wiggly down the street from where I work. The guy there could not find a box with my name on it…in fact he looked like he had no idea what I was talking about. Probably why I did not get the call that it was there to begin with. After twenty minutes of waiting he finally just took me to the stock room to show me what he had. I recognized different membership’s last names, scribbled in black marker on their orders. Two were the same as my order…I looked at the invoices….clearly on the invoices the 14.99 price was PER bottle, and not per case….well it was per bottle per case. You know-you get the bottles for 14.99 per, if you buy the case. DUH. 

   I should have known better, i have only been in this business for three years, and before that I actually worked in a stock room, I know how to read case lingo…..sighs galore. I was so thankful they could not find my box that I told them their was no rush it was no like I had a party planned or anything. The nice manager took my name and number and I am secretly hoping I gave him the wrong number…considering my number has changed and I have been giving it out wrong half the time anyway.

   My mind went back to earlier in the day when I was bragging to my supervisor/friend about the buying the case and it was 14.99. He looked confused-“her price per bottle was the same as a case price”. i said “oh yeah it was the special limited price she had” “ARE YOU SURE? IT is PINNACLE We ARE TALKING ABOUT?” I replied “Well I asked her and she said yeah”….yeah I ASKED her …she should have known she was not talking to the wine buyer of the club,and that I obviously am just the bartender looking for cheap wine to stock my fridge with. I am such a glutton, obviously. Hey, i just was thinking, “why buy one, when i can get a case for the same price? That will last me for…MONTHS, I wont buy wine again ALL YEAR-unless my girlfriend comes over and downs a bottle on every visit. 

   I seeth at myself and my ignorance on the inside….another thing that has happened way too much the past couple of months,. No one who knows me personally from work can know about this. I could call my supervisor/friend and tell him …”I have an issue…you were right” and listen to him laugh like a hyena,…but I wont. I just will hope on hope that my order was missed and since the spawn of Jezebel wine representative is on vacation then I wont have to deal with this issue for a week or so and by then nonchalantly cancel my order possibly, and no one would blame me. Maybe I will avoid The Pig, which is so much cheaper then WESTERN SUPERMARKET, for the rest of my residence in Birmingham…maybe I can just not answer the phone. The last thing I want to do is say,….”you know I honestly thought that….I was getting a case of wine for less than sixteen dollars. Yes I am from the the woods…and I’m fronting as super high class that can afford a two hundred dollar box of wine. Heck it works when I walk in Banana Republic (except yesterday when my card was declined). Keep smiling, act like a classy lady and pray they lost my order and no one will know that I am such a dingy bird. I blame lack of sleep.

I need a nap. 


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