Monthly Archives: August 2012

  Ode to a shirt

I miss my Keith Richards Relief for Japan Shirt. I had plans for this shirt…like being able to KEEP it for as long as I kept my pair of favorite jeans (long enough that they became unwearable). Last year,after only having this shirt for a few months,I discovered that it had been take from the dryer in my apartment building’s laundry room. That was not the only article that was taken,but my work pants could be replaced. Socks replaced. If it had been my Keith shirt from, that even,for a region converted price, could have been replaced. This…

…cannot be replaced. The response to these shirts which were only on -not and not a Rolling Stones fund raiser-was unprecedented. The shirts had to be back ordered and if I remember correctly they were printed by order to begin with.
I lounged in this shirt,lived in this shirt (although away from bleaching materials) and went out in this shirt. My shirt from djtees is cool but, it didn’t have Keith’s input or approval, and the money spent on it didn’t go to a cause he deemed important. It’s also not all that comfortable.
I waited for several weeks hoping that there was some mistake and a distracted tenant had accidentally opened the wrong dryer, taking what just looked like a bunch of black clothing. I hoped that once the error of their ways was found they would bring my clothes to the office so that the rightful owner could pick them up. This didn’t happen,even after I left a note in the laundry room. At first I was only concerned with getting my work clothes back-because I had to…you know…go to work. It was only later in the week,when after a long day at work, I was looking for Keith and….then I remembered. The memory slowly and coolly rippled from the top of my head and the effects hit all my nerves… “Oh somebody is gonna die”. I remembered every persons face on my elevator who had said “oh cool shirt” and then after my thankful response asking “who is that”. Someone who does not care who Keith Richards is has my shirt. Someone ho probably only has “Satisfaction” in their mental “Rolling Stones” song arsenal…probably has my shirt.

Maybe not. Maybe worse. Maybe someone did realize they had the wrong clothes..and just  didn’t bring them back. maybe Keith is being used to wipe off someones kitchen counter…or polish their furniture. maybe he got sold for a few bucks to buy a pack of cigarettes. Maybe he got sold on E-bay. I have even looked on E-bay. Yes. The thought that some spineless jerk somewhere,bought multiple shirts off the Keith Richards website and then sold them for triple price makes me sick (but it has been known to happen with rock memorabilia). Thankfully, a spineless jerk has not done that…but I would have bought it since I already made the contributing purchase for Japan’s benefit. I emailed to see if by chance they had some left over-like in a warehouse or something. They actually replied telling me they did not.

It is the Rolling Stones 50th Anniversary this year. There is Anniversary merchandise all over their website. Some shirts with cool Keith pictures…overpriced at $40.00 for a tee shirt. I could and probably will eventually get one but it wont be the same. When Keith Richards dies, as we ALL will one day, there will probably be Japan Relief shirts all over ebay for upwards of $200.00. In fact they are probably put up in closets, in plastic, awaiting the very day of the event. I wont buy those. It wouldn’t be the same it would be a replica,representing a memory of the year that I read Keith Richards biography and joined his email list and in turn bought the shirt. Right now it is a gamble whether the Stones will even embark on Anniversary tour-as Keith has planned. Charlie’s health has not been good and all though we hate to whisper it, neither has Keith’s. For the record,before I get any annoying comments, Keith didn’t fall out of a tree-he slipped after water skiing and hit his head on the back of a tree. No drugs or alcohol were involved and the man nearly died. So I miss my shirt. It represented a time capsule, and it cannot be replaced, just like Steven Tyler and Johnny Depp (though he may try) cannot replace Keith Richards.

I hope if a homeless person has it, they appreciate. I hope if someone ignorantly is using it to polish furniture, that maintenance finds it after those people leave the building. I hope if someone sold it for cigarettes,that a Keith fan bought it.If someone has it put up, awaiting the death of Keith Richards, may that person be cursed with a rare form of leprosy.

To the worlds original pirate of the rock and roll sea, I miss wearing your face and guitar on my chest, and your health is in my prayers 😉


1 Comment

August 15, 2012 · 12:08 am